On Beyond Zebra

I was trying to look busy and blazing new trails across the interweb when I came across this strange beast. What in the hell is this thing? Did a giraffe get molested by a zebra...or an aardvark? Or perhaps the offspring of a zebra and a giraffe was molested by a hyena? This thing is supposedly called an Okapi but I think that we can do much better. Of course, after my 6th grade fiasco in Mrs Brackens class I don't think I will ever try my hand at naming an animal again.

TANGENT ALERT! TANGENT ALERT!

For some reason we had a creative writing assignment that involved making up a fictional animal. We had to give it a name, eating habits, natural habitat etc. If I recall, it was a rather entertaining assignment. I even drew a picture for my creature. It looked something like this.

The fiasco came when Mrs Bracken came over and asked me about the stupid thing.

Mrs B: So, what do you call it? Its a rather interesting looking creature.
Me: Its a Pimp.
Mrs B: A what?
Me: A Pimp. P-I-M-P.
Mrs B: Do you know what a pimp is jpr?
Me: Uh, no? That? [pointing at picture]
Mrs B: Perhaps you should go find a dictionary [at this point a large smirk is creeping across her face...she can't hold it in anymore]

Now, whether or not the other students knew what a pimp was, they definitely knew it was something inappropriate so of course the finger pointing and "pimp" shouting began spreading across the room just as steadily as the smirk had crept across Mrs Brackens face. It was a very confusing time for me. One moment I'm minding my own business and enjoying my work and the next moment I am being called a pimp from all over the room. It stuck. So, don't any of you bitches piss me off or I may have to give you the pimp hand and pop a cap in yo ass. Peace out homies.