How to Turn 30 with Style
The other night I attended the party of a friend who was turning 30. Over the course of 3 hours I experienced some of the best party fouls ever. I’m not just talking spilled beer here. I’m talking full-fledged brain cell annihilation with out of control shenanigans.
For starters, when I showed up, the birthday boy was already a little wobbly. As I stuck around, his condition only got better (from an amusement point of view I mean). You remember weebles? You know, “They weeble and they wobble but they don’t fall down.” Well, whether you remember weebles or not, I can assure you my friend is NOT a weeble. He is not even the second cousin, five times removed, of a weeble. No sir, the birthday boy, although good at the weebling and the wobbling, was most definitely a faller-downer. And not only was he a faller-downer but he did it with style.
Picture a big glass window. Now picture those bird silhouettes that they put on them so that the birds don’t fly smack right into the big glass windows. Next, take away that bird silhouette and picture what happens as that bird flies “BLAMMO!” right into the window. Pretty funny huh? (assuming of course that the bird isn’t hurt…I don’t want PETA boycotting this site. I could lose my entire fan base…of 2 people)
OK. Now make the glass window a screen door and make the bird the birthday boy. It was just like in the cartoons when Daffy Duck goes running through a wall...only funny. Below is the B-day boy passed out some time later with the remainder of the screen door. Somebody please remind me to leave the state when I turn 30 in August.
For starters, when I showed up, the birthday boy was already a little wobbly. As I stuck around, his condition only got better (from an amusement point of view I mean). You remember weebles? You know, “They weeble and they wobble but they don’t fall down.” Well, whether you remember weebles or not, I can assure you my friend is NOT a weeble. He is not even the second cousin, five times removed, of a weeble. No sir, the birthday boy, although good at the weebling and the wobbling, was most definitely a faller-downer. And not only was he a faller-downer but he did it with style.
Picture a big glass window. Now picture those bird silhouettes that they put on them so that the birds don’t fly smack right into the big glass windows. Next, take away that bird silhouette and picture what happens as that bird flies “BLAMMO!” right into the window. Pretty funny huh? (assuming of course that the bird isn’t hurt…I don’t want PETA boycotting this site. I could lose my entire fan base…of 2 people)
OK. Now make the glass window a screen door and make the bird the birthday boy. It was just like in the cartoons when Daffy Duck goes running through a wall...only funny. Below is the B-day boy passed out some time later with the remainder of the screen door. Somebody please remind me to leave the state when I turn 30 in August.
Will write more later... (full contact beer pong)
