TV Is My Crack

I am the TV. You are my friend.

TV is my crack and I just landed in the granddaddy of all crackhouses. Sometime around December I decided to go cold turkey on TV. I was moving out of my apartment and the giant 52 inch TV that I had been babysitting was returned to its proper home. This seemed like a good opportunity to make a break. OK. I know that many of you think that I am crazy but it really had become a problem. With the big TV in my living room, I could split the one big screen into two full sized screens. When channel surfing on both screens, that could easily mean 4 shows at once. I soon became stuck in a perpetual loop of dosing myself w/ bad movies, sitcoms, reality TV and even the occasional drama. At one point I sank so low I found myself drifting into the eerie glow of the Lifetime Channel. MY GOD MAN! THE LIFETIME CHANNEL! If the pictures moved I couldn’t get enough of it. Rather than cultivating social relationships, growing my brain or being active and healthy I just sat around all day, comatose and drooling on myself. So, when I moved and lost the TV I decided that it was time to go cold turkey. I am proud to say that it has been 3 months since I have watched bad TV…that is until this last week. Not too long ago I ended up back in Florida and, since my friend was away in California, I ended up crashing at his place. It’s a great apartment, in a great location, it has a great sound system and [dun dun dun] the big TV. Needless to say, I have had a relapse. On Friday my brain was so fried from mixing my reality TV shows with my made for TV movies that I actually tried to inject an RCA cable right from the TV into my brain. If you don’t see a post in the next couple of days, call for help. It might not be too late.