My Left Nipple is Braille for Bunny Rabbit

St. Patricks Day is a good holiday. Tons of people come out to party, you are obligated to have a drink or two, and if you don't wear green lots of girls keep pinching your ass. That last bit, the pinching, leads to some interesting conversations. At one point, a girl decided to go for a nipple instead of my posterior just to mix things up a bit. Rather than saying ouch (which is the sensible thing to do) I blurted out, "You know...the bumps on that nipple are braille for bunny rabbit." I do not know why I said this, it just came out. Oddly enough she found this quite fascinating and proceeded to tell her friends that my left nipple was braille for bunny. They all were then compelled to check it out for themselves. Now, after questioning each of these girls I came to find out that none of them actually knew braille. In actuality they were all just trying to cop a feel. I had been violated. This, of course, was cause for a celebratory long island ice tea. Not a very Irish drink but keep in mind that I wasn't wearing green and don't really give a rabbits ass (Im cringing for you).
Before I close this post I feel obligated to answer the question that is surely sitting on its laurels in the back of your head, "Is his left nipple really braille for bunny rabbit?" The answer is, of course not. My left nipple is for the most part normal. Now as for my third nipple, thats another story...