Something Wicked This Way Comes, Part II
The title of yesterdays post was the inspiration for todays post. Getting right to the point, this post is about brussel sprouts, the most vile and evil vegetable available in your local grocery store. The brussel sprout is the horse pill of the vegetable world. Its just a little ball of bitterness that, although good for you, is most unpleasant to swallow...chewed or otherwise. Believe me, I tried any number of ways to get those little green bastards off of my plate when I was younger. And this brings us to the meat of this post (ironic given that this post is about vegetables). JPR's favorite ways to get rid of brussel sprouts:
Wait, hold the train! I just remembered...I actually hated lima beans; not brussel sprouts (although brussel sprouts aren't exactly good). Brussel sprouts aren't good but I could actually choke those down. Lima beans on the other hand, in addition to tasting bad, they also have a dryness that makes them even harder to eat. The dry pasty texture that makes up the guts of the lima bean is the stuff nightmares are made of (ack, there's a preposition at the end of my sentence). 
SOOooo...what I meant to say was,
SOOooo...what I meant to say was,
JPR's favorite ways to get rid of lima beans:
1) The napkin...parents caught onto this one quickly.
2) Then came the "I have to go to the bathroom" ploy. Before excusing myself, the trick was to shove as many lima beans in my mouth as possible so that they could be deposited in the toilet. The parents also caught onto this manuever rather quickly.
3) Then came stuffing the pockets...this was just unpleasant.
4) Other times I sat at the table for hours on end refusing to eat even one...also unpleasant.
5) Finally I hit upon the best way to get rid of lima beans. My parents knew that I liked milk so I guess they never checked out the glass. I realized that if I had an opaque glass (I probably realized this with a word other than opaque. Its more likely that I just looked for a ceramic or plastic glass without ever thinking the word opaque) and drank half of my milk, that left plenty of room to hide any disgusting lima beans beneath the milky white cover of my...uh, milk.
1) The napkin...parents caught onto this one quickly.
2) Then came the "I have to go to the bathroom" ploy. Before excusing myself, the trick was to shove as many lima beans in my mouth as possible so that they could be deposited in the toilet. The parents also caught onto this manuever rather quickly.
3) Then came stuffing the pockets...this was just unpleasant.
4) Other times I sat at the table for hours on end refusing to eat even one...also unpleasant.
5) Finally I hit upon the best way to get rid of lima beans. My parents knew that I liked milk so I guess they never checked out the glass. I realized that if I had an opaque glass (I probably realized this with a word other than opaque. Its more likely that I just looked for a ceramic or plastic glass without ever thinking the word opaque) and drank half of my milk, that left plenty of room to hide any disgusting lima beans beneath the milky white cover of my...uh, milk.
And that, my friends, is all for today.
