Litigous Local Caught In Snowbird Migration

NY plate, NJ plate, Ontario Plate, CT plate....how are there no FL plates in FL?

Today I showed up to work at 7:15 AM and I was very confused. I couldn't figure out how I ended up at work almost half an hour early. At this point in the morning everything is in a serious haze and my brain is on auto-pilot so I really had to think about this.
Did I set the alarm right? Yes. I definitely remember trying to kill the alarm clock at 5:45 AM.
Did I forget to do something? Deodarant...check; teeth brushed...check; pants...check.
Then it hit me. There was no traffic this morning. All of the snowbirds have finally left and I can now sleep an extra 30 minutes in the morning. This is cause for celebration................AND A FREAKIN LAWSUIT!
I am suing everyone north of NJ who comes down to WPB just to vacation over the winter. Those bastards have cost me way too much sleep and I am going to sue them all for being detrimental to my health and well being; also for being a pain in my ass. I figure that for all the days I had to work first shift, they cost me anywhere between 15 and 30 minutes. In season, this would be around 75 days. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I will say 20 minutes * 75 days. This comes out to 1,500 minutes of my time wasted in snowbird migration patterns. At about $50 an hour, the snowbirds collectively owe me $1250 in lost time. I WANT MY MONEY AND I WANT IT NOW!
If you are a snowbird, I will accept checks, money orders and cash.