Down w/ Soy Beans!

It has recently come to my attention that there are many people out there who have never heard of Soylent Green. This is really too bad. Soylent Green is a delicious and nutritious meal alternative. It is high in protein, low in fat and it is filled with a whole plethora of vitamins and minerals.

Charleton Heston first pitched the product in the 70’s in a rather uplifting infomercial named, quite cleverly, Soylent Green. Unfortunately, people mistook his 2 hour infomercial for a movie. After starring in the likes of Ben Hur and Planet of the Apes, people weren’t expecting Charles to go all Ron Popeil on them. This societal oversite was only a small setback. The real killer was the popularity of the soy bean. With all the green freaks promoting the soy bean all willy nilly, the soy bean completely overshadowed Soylent Green and prevented this wonderful product from ever meeting its full potential in the market place. Well, there was also that whole issue with the FDA but really, just because Soylent Green is people, that’s no reason to scrap a whole product line. Some people are just too sensitive. Next thing you know they will be telling us that we can’t eat dogs, dolphin or cat. Stupid FDA.

Sidenote: Ben Stein Just Said "F'ing" on FOX News...Awesome.